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I come up for air grinning and so turned up. So now, another tradition — who is first and why? We play this game every year, and it makes me giggle while I pose as each gives his reasons. Puckering my mouth and spreading my legs, first perched at the edge, and then bending over it, I give them reasons. Tony ruffles and grabs Creed’s tousled curls. Pulling hard and playfully open palming Creed’s chest, Tony says, “I should be first because I haven't had her since last Wednesday.”Creed splashes him in the face and rolls his eyes, patiently trying to explain to Tony the importance of fucking, when he blurts out, “I put a vibe in her ass. Your reason doesn't compare.”Looking over at me, he snarls, “Hey Bogart, share!” I snort with laughter and pass Creed the blunt.Back to the game, Tony speaks. “My balls are bigger. You did see her go straight for them, didn't you?”Creed pulls up into a standing position, his arms all sleek and muscled, rising out of the water, his vibe and butt plug. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested:"I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.THEATER ETIQUETTE1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.WEDDINGS1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.DRIVING ETIQUETTE1. Dim your headlights.
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